To all of the gadgets and gizmos that make up the corporate machine,

We are your systems administrators, not your playmates, buddies or friends. We weave the arcane arts of UNIX, SMTP and HTTP into the magic carpet which you use to scoot around performing your daily mundane tasks with greater ease and efficiency. These arts are not idly learned and are not to be trifled with. As a result, a certain level of respect is in order.

We, as administrators, are not here to amuse you. We will not clap our hands excitedly and perform a trick for you when you come to us with yet another problem. In this light, please stop coming into our offices hoping for a show and then painting on a sad expression when we don't perform a balancing act for you. We are here to keep you productive and safe out there on the Internet and in here on the intranet, that is all. There are systems in place by which you can alert us to something that seems problematic or an issue which is stopping you from completing your designated operational sequences. Said systems are in place for a reason. They keep your admins sane and, as a result, your precious data from disappearing into the ether. Use them, or know our wrath.

Many assign us the attributes of 'evil', 'creepy', 'insane' and other adjectives which, while possibly quite fitting for some, do not describe us as a group. We genuinely strive to keep our corporate overlords and their minions safe from missiles cast by darker foes. Our order is focused on corporate-service. Quite simply, if we don't do our jobs, no one gets paid. You don't want that and neither do we.

Please remember that we understand your job is stressful and important. We see a much larger picture than your average gizmo and as a result, we understand what it is you do and why it is deemed neccesary to the overlords.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

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